College football season kicks off in just about a month, and that means weekends featuring exciting rivalries across the country. Not too long after that, college basketball season will be underway.
So in that competitive spirit, we have combed through every college mascot, and through advanced mascot analytical statistics, including hype level, hilarity factor and fuzziness quotient, to come up with an objective list of the top mascots of all time.
22. Western Kentucky University: Big Red
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Though it might not be as iconic as Stanford's tree, Western Kentucky's self-described big red blob is a hilariously goofy-looking mascot, and it deserves points for that. Per WKU, Big Red's signature moves are the "belly bump" and the "belly wiggle," because of course they are.
21. Xavier: The Blue Blob
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Though Xavier's official mascot is D'Artagnan the Musketeer, he cannot compete with the unofficial mascot, Xavier's famous Blue Blob, which was presumably created when Grover and Grimace both stepped into the teleporter from "The Fly" at the same time. As an added note, Xavier's Blue Blob had the consensus highest fuzziness quotient of all mascots on this list.
20. Gonzaga: Spike the Bulldog
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Where schools like the University of Georgia try to make their bulldog mascots at least slightly intimidating, Gonzaga went a different route, presumably basing its entire mascot design on Droopy Dog. But at the same time, isn't he just adorable? Don't you want to just pet him on his big ol' flappy nose?
19. University of Louisiana-Lafayette: Cayenne
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No, that isn't a "Banjo-Kazooie" enemy who wandered onto a basketball court; that's Cayenne, the nightmarish anthropomorphic pepper who cheers on the Ragin' Cajuns. Unfortunately, the team has been prone to flaming out in the postseason, having never made it past the second round of the tournament since its wins from the 1972 and '73 seasons were vacated.
18. Purdue: Purdue Pete
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Purdue Pete deserves a spot on this list based on intimidation factor alone. Rumor has it that if you ever make eye contact with Purdue Pete's unsmiling, unblinking visage, your soul will be damned to an eternity of football irrelevance.
17. Stanford: The Tree
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Do we really need to say anything about this beautiful mishmash of a mascot? The Tree is the epitome of "so bad, it's good" — the equivalent of the Tommy Wiseau masterpiece, "The Room," except in mascot form.
16. Ohio State University: Brutus Buckeye
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At first glance, there's not all that much that stands out about the Ohio State mascot (other than its iconic relationship with one of America's winningest programs in college athletics). But once you remember that Brutus Buckeye is literally an anthropomorphized version of a poisonous nut, it's all suddenly much more entertaining.
15. Oregon: The Duck
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Oregon's duck mascot doesn't really have an official name other than "The Duck" since 2010, when an agreement with Disney forced the university to change the mascot's name from "Ronald Duck." This was a real thing that actually happened.
14. UC-Irvine: Peter the Anteater
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I am fairly confident in saying that the University of California-Irvine's mascot, Peter the Anteater, is the best mascot in the nation that catches food by sticking an elongated snout into an area with a high concentration of insects. Unfortunately, Peter has been able to lead his team to only a single NCAA Tournament in the history of the program.
13. ASU: Sparky the Sun Devil
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Sparky is great in the way that Dracula costumes bought from Party City the day before Halloween are great. A creepy smile frozen in a smirk that implies a Snidely Whiplash-esque laugh, a jaunty little mustache, horns and a goatee (in case you weren't absolutely sure whether Sparky was evil or not)... it's just all so cartoony, cheesy and perfect.
12. Tulsa: Captain 'Cane
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After 2009, Tulsa's mascot got a whole lot worse with a redesign that turned it from a wonderfully weird golden hurricane with a face into a boring superhero. Pour one out for Captain 'Cane, one of the best, weirdest mascots to ever grace the football field or hardwood.
11. Michigan State: Sparty
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Michigan State's mascot might seem a bit generic at first, but that's until you look at those wonderful beefy arms. You have to respect how hard Sparty has been working his bi's, tri's and delts.
10. University of Toledo: Rocky the Rocket
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Rocky the Rocket is what you get when you put Astro Boy and a Power Ranger in a blender, and I love it. He even brings a '50s-style blaster to games, though it's unclear whether it shoots laser beams or T-shirts.
9. Wake Forest: The Demon Deacon
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Usually humanoid mascots are either creepy or bland, and Wake Forest's Demon Deacon is no exception. That said, he earns a whole bunch of cool points both for his exquisite fashion sense (see how the tie matches the hat?) and for the fact that he has been known to show up to basketball games riding an awesome motorcycle.
8. Maryland: Testudo
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Maryland gets credit here because it's always stuck to its guns. Testudo never suffered a gigantic, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"-inspired redesign because Maryland knew that the simple turtle mascot did not need to be improved upon.
7. Syracuse: Otto the Orange
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There's not much else to say about this one. The team is the Syracuse Orange. The mascot is a literal orange. Sorry, Big Red. You've been outdone in the "wonderful blob" department.
6. FGCU: Azul the Eagle
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What could be a standard bird mascot is made so much better with the simple addition of silly shoes and a permanent, asymmetrical smirk. Well done, Florida Gulf Coast.
5. UCF: Knightro
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Knightro is probably the best name for a mascot — or also any other thing, ever. It works as a Saturday morning cartoon starring Knightro and the Golden Knights having basketball-related adventures, but the ultimate goal is to make it to the NCAA Tournament.
4. University of Florida: Albert (and Alberta) Gator
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Not only does Florida score points for having a mascot that isn't a mammal, but it also gets major credit for having not just one mascot but two. It almost excuses the horrible Al. E. Gator pun.
3. TCU: Super Frog
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Another non-mammalian mascot! There aren't many of those out there, so it deserves mention. Plus, Super Frog looks like an enemy from "The Legend of Zelda," which is at once really awesome and really nerdy. We're fans of both here.
2. UNC: Rameses
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First of all, UNC gets points for a solid pun. Second of all, Rameses is an equally solid mascot. Any mascot with horns is automatically cool because horns themselves are cool. Not even the fact that UNC is eminently hate-able can change that fact.
1. Wisconsin: Bucky Badger
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There's something inherently unique about Wisconsin's mascot, love or hate the team. It's kind of cool-looking because of the badger coloration on the face, but at the same time it's super silly because, I mean, look at the neck! It extends all the way over to the shoulders! It's great, and I love it.